235+ Sarcastic Captions for Instagram with Quotes

When you want to share Sarcastic pictures on social media like Instagram. Then you have to keep attention to make your captions smarter than others. Because a smart caption always makes a post standard. That’s why we are here to provide you with the perfect Sarcastic captions for your pictures.

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Sarcastic Captions for Instagram

Table of Contents

You didn’t have to go that hard.
Calm? Me? But I’ve murdered you inside my mind a hundred times already!

Talking to myself. Because who else will?
Learning sarcasm is like learning a secret language. You can use it to throw up mean words without ever getting in trouble.
I feel like I’m already tired tomorrow.

Did it really hurt when I called you stupid? Again, I’m really sorry. I thought you knew all along.
Why attend someone’s funeral if they aren’t going to attend yours?
Who let low-rise jeans happen in the first place?

My sarcastic retorts are free of charge! Come get your now!
People will ask stupid questions no matter what. I guess it’s my legal obligation to offer them sarcastic remarks.
Unless you’re an internet search engine, it’d be wise to stop acting like you know everything.

Just burned a lot of calories trying to avoid someone. What a great workout!
If I light you a candle and offer you flowers, will you go away?
And here we go f*cking again! I mean good day to all of you.

Tact is for humans who aren’t clever enough to wield the power of sarcasm.
Here you go! It’s a bowl of sarcasm.
Think I’m mean, audacious, and sarcastic? Well, watch me pretend to care!

Just want to nap in the sun like a cat. Is that too much to ask?
Fun fact: I’m not a big fan of fun facts.
Life is a soup and I’m a frigging fork!

Sometimes, I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.
God, it’s brutal out here. — Olivia Rodrigo, brutal
Am I a hot mess? Nope, I’m a spicy disaster!

Everything I love either costs too much, is prohibited, or doesn’t message back.
Use sarcasm as often as needed. It not only kindles joy, it also releases frustration in a comical way.
When life gives you lemons, trade them for something better.

My alone time is for your own safety.
Notify me when I’m starting to look like I care. I really don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
Sorry, that doesn’t go with my outfit.

A little less fight and a little more spark. — Elvis Presley, A Little Less Conversation
Be very careful of humans. Friends and enemies can easily change sides at the drop of a hat.
Zombies love devouring brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.A psychologist can’t fix stupidity. Apparently, it’s not a disorder that is recognized.

I find it funny, but I’ve forgotten how to laugh. Damn!
Pretending to like people is taking a toll on my energy reserves.
She believed she could, but she was really tired. So she didn’t.

One thing I know is sarcasm is painful euphemism.
Always an awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that it makes you look stupid.
An eye roll a day keeps the bad vibes away.

I’ve had too little iced coffee, and too much Monday.
There’s nothing more to do than seize the day.
Grammar is simply the difference between knowing your sh*t and knowing you’re sh*t.

See you never or forever.
Unpopular opinion check!

Sarcastic Quotes for Instagram

Now is this look comfortable for you, or uncomfortable? — Stevie Budd, Schitt’s Creek

Facing a problem is a whole lot harder when the problem is your face.
I would certainly be a morning person if I woke up in the morning.
Perhaps, I’m not made of sugar and spice, but of sarcasm and brazenness.

Quite a number of people are human versions of the migraine. It’s best to steer clear of them at all costs!
Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it anyway.
Indeed, sarcasm falls out of my mouth just as stupid falls from other people.

Unfortunately, I don’t take orders. I hardly even take suggestions.
Disagree with me all you want. Being right doesn’t mean everything.
Don’t be the only one standing in your way.

Feed your own ego. I’m busy!
It’s all fun and games here.
Dear crush, you can text me now if you want.

What more could you ask for?
Felt cute, won’t delete later.
You find the words that come out of mouth offensive? Ha! Imagine all the stuff that I’m still holding back.

Actually, the entire universe does revolve around me!
That ain’t it.
Closed minds should come with closed mouths, right?

Violence is definitely not the solution. It’s just part of the equation.
Check back in about five years. By then, maybe I’ve started to care.
Can you kiss me more? — Doja Cat, Kiss Me More

I have a definite opinion on this…I don’t care. — Steven Hyde, That ’70s Show
What a time to be alive.
I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? — Chandler Bing, Friends

My back hurts from carrying the weight of being the funny friend.
Stalking is such a strong word. Let’s call it social research.
Why do people say I act like I don’t care? I’m not acting!

Hideousness can be fixed. Idiocy, on the other hand, is forever.
Of course I speak gibberish! How else would you be able to understand me?
Losing ten pounds is a piece of cake! Only fifteen pounds to go!

Too sober for all the sh*t that’s happening today.
For some reason, you look really when my eyes are closed.
My circle of connections is really small! One time, I almost cut myself off of it.

People say sarcasm is the barest form of wittiness. And that comes from the people who barely understands it.
Be my guest and leave.
Come closer and look at my face. Does it look like I care?

Even the devil stops working just to admire my work.

Sarcastic Bio for Instagram

Oh, look what I found! It’s your nose all up in my goddamn business again!
You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not an avocado.

People talk behind my back, and I’m just here like: Wow, I’ve got a fan club!
Remember when I asked for your sentiments? Me neither.
Many rich people are really just janitors and custodians of their own possessions.

This is a sign. I’m not sure if it’s your sign.
When life slams a door in your face, just open it again. Doors work like that.
Not expecting anything means you’ll never be disappointed in your life.

Let’s share. You take the grenade, I take the pin.
Patience is a virtue. Not my virtue though.
Anyways, I’m cute.

Physical attractiveness is only skin deep. But ugliness? That goes right to the bone!
Honesty is my policy.
Keep rolling your eyes. Perhaps you’ll find a brain back there.

Once I finish tinkering this device that lets you smack people in the face over the internet, I’ll be filthy rich!
Some people really do want you alive, especially those who you took out loans from.
Every person on Earth has the right to be stupid, but some are really abusing the privilege.

Will I be awarded bonus points if I act like I’m actually concerned?
Avoid arguing with fools. At a distance, spectators can’t tell which one is which.
Why am I always late? Because good things always take time.

Better grab my dumbrella. It’s raining stupid outside today.
Me? Sarcastic? Never.
If your phone doesn’t ring, that’s probably me.

Personally, I’d give this Instagram post a 10/10.
Don’t take my insults seriously. I’m just being sarcastic.
Let’s keep the bullsh*t to a minimum today, okay?

Isn’t that fantastic?
Only you can provide what I desperately want—your absence.
Life is really good. You should get one.

Lord, give the strength to tolerate stupid people today.
Agreeing with an idiot means we’d both be wrong.
I really want to be a nice person, but this mouth of mine never cooperates.

Revenge doesn’t suit my style. I prefer accidents.
Flattered that you’re jealous of me.
File this under: my thoughts.

You sir, are the human version of period cramps.
Occasionally, there comes people who really need a high five. On the head. With a baseball bat.
Who says I’m crazy? The voices keep reassuring me that I’m perfectly sane.

Doing my best and forgetting the rest.
Let’s just be who we really are.
What a beautiful day to just leave me the f*ck alone.

We were all built with a defense mechanism against stupidity. It’s called sarcasm.
Curing the world one sarcastic comment at a time.
Go ahead, underestimate me. I’m sure it’ll be fun.

Sarcastic Puns for Instagram

Being proficient in sarcasm means you can insult idiots without them ever realizing it.
The smarter you are, the nicer I am.
Stopped fighting my inner demons long ago. We’re on the same side now.

Tell me how I have upset you. For future reference, mostly.
You call this fat? I call it a 1-pack!
Oh, no one told you? Perhaps, it’s none of your damn business!

Slapping idiots would be animal abuse, so I try to restrain myself.
Time flies by when you’re insulting people.
Excuse you.

In many instances, I wish I have enough middle fingers to go around with.
My favorite kind of people are those who reply to my sarcasm with their sarcasm.
Everyone brings joy in a room. Some, by entering. And some, by leaving.

Clapping not because I liked it, but because it’s finally over.
There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in barbecue sauce.
Last time I checked, I didn’t care about anything. And nope, I still don’t care.

People should appreciate the gargantuan effort I put in to not becoming a homicidal maniac.
This is my cup of care. Oh, would you look at that! It’s empty!
The reason why I take hot showers is so that I can get used to the feeling of burning in hell.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
Just as stupidity is infinite, sarcasm also is.
Shut your trap when you’re speaking to me.

Everyone sounds better when their mouths are shut tight.
Patience, dear. I’m already f*cking things up as fast as I can.
Do you, for you.

Good judgment comes from experience. And experience? Well, that comes from poor judgment.
Not sarcastic. Just brutally honest.
Ever wondered why I don’t have a welcome mat at my door? It’s because I’m not a liar.

My parents raised no fool! They raised a psychotic, cold-hearted, sexy beast, yeah, but definitely not a fool.
If there’s trouble wherever you go, then guess what?
Find your calm before I totally lose mine.
Always remember that you’re unique. Same as everyone else.
Try not to take yourself too seriously. No one else does.
Do you know what I like about humans? Their dogs.
I don’t have time to hate anyone.
Excuse me, I know this is hell, but may I ask which floor?
If you still haven’t encountered the devil, then there’s a big chance you’ll both meet at the end of the road. In hell, that is.
Hush, nobody cares!
I wish more people were fluent in silence.
Everyone would be in good shape if they ran as much as their mouth.
Even when you’re not here, I feel just as miserable. It’s like you’re here.
Hashtag mood.
Not a bad person. But dangerously atrocious, nonetheless.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Some people are like treasure chests. You just can’t help wanting to bury them in dirt.
I’m always on do not disturb mode.
I pinky promise.

Sarcastic Tags for Instagram

Someday I’m going to eye roll myself into another dimension.
Who says I’m supposed to be same person I was seven minutes ago?
If I haven’t pissed you off yet, just wait for your turn patiently. I will get to you shortly.
Don’t worry too much about what other people think. They don’t really do it that often.
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me profoundly!
No, you’re not ugly. Your face is probably just out of fashion.
Fortunately, mirrors can’t talk. You should be thankful that they can’t laugh either.
Silence is golden. But duct tape? Now that’s silver.
Cancel my subscription! Your issues are not worth my time and effort.
Would you look at that! My imaginary friend has arrived to the conclusion that you have serious mental problems.
Do you find me saucy and offensive? Then I suggest you quit finding me.
Money talks, and mine keeps bidding me farewell.
Sarcasm is my mother tongue.
Apparently, rock bottom has a basement.
It’s all thanks to sarcasm that we can smack people right in the face with words.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
Ready in five minutes? Me? I doubt it.
If stupidity was a profession, then we’d have a world full of billionaires.
I spy with my little eye the cutest human there ever was.
They give me questions I don’t know, so I give them answers they don’t know.
Some things never change and that’s OK.
Being hated and ignored makes my life a whole lot easier to manage.
It’s not hard to be a nice human.
I had to do it to ‘em.
The grass isn’t always greener.
Just because my intelligence is beyond your understanding doesn’t mean I’m sarcastic.
Here, hold my dignity. I’ve got some sketchy things to do.
My loyalty can never be bought. It can be rented though. Just name the price!
Wake me up when something interesting is happening.
Sorry if I pissed you off. Rest assured that it will happen again.
The devil doesn’t need to lead me into temptation because I already know the way.
Being misunderstood all the time doesn’t automatically make you an artist.

Sarcastic Puns for Instagram

Laughter can cure the world, so go out there and show your face for everyone to see!
If karma doesn’t hit you like a truck, I’ll be willing to hit you like an airplane.
What? I don’t speak idiot!
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not in shape. By the end of the day, round is still a shape.
Woah, I almost gave a f*ck! Scared the sh*t out of me!
Becoming religious means I can now pray for my enemies to burn in eternal hellfire.
People think I’m funny, but I’m really not. I’m actually pretty mean, but they always think I’m joking.
Just because I look indifferent doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Does running out of f*cks count as cardio?
When I asked God for divine punishment, I met you the next day.
Go to hell? But it’s too early for me to go home.
Long story short, it was a bad time. — Taylor Swift, long story short
Yawning is a sign that I’m interested. So go on, keep talking.
Support bacteria! They’re the only culture some people have.
In the absence of protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons, the universe wouldn’t exist.
I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow.
Every so often, I meet people and feel bad for their pets.
Take a selfie. Fake a life.
Pineapple on pizza is great. There I said it.
Deep inside, I know that my my heart is golden. But this mouth of mine? That’s another story.
That’ll be a no from me.
Beating up people is illegal, so yeah, let’s just use sarcasm.
Despite sarcasm being one of the most basic form of audacity, it remains to be the funniest.
You don’t fancy me? Well, it does take good judgment and a classy pair of discerning eyes to do so.Whatever sprinkles your doughnuts.
Forgive and forget? I’m neither God nor an amnesiac.
Perhaps, I’m wrong? But, I doubt it.
Somewhere in the world, my soulmate is pushing a push door. I just know it!
Early to bed and early to rise just means you weren’t invited to the party.
Don’t live anybody’s life but yours.
The garbage collector is coming tomorrow. Ready yourself.

Conclusion

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